Sad FPL player
Premier League, Uncategorized

Men everywhere sack off Fantasy League in gameweek one

Men everywhere have sacked off Fantasy Premier League after things went to shit in gameweek one.

28-year-old IT consultant Hugh Deeney spent weeks analysing spreadsheets and reading Fantasy Football Scout before compiling his dream squad ‘In It to Win It’.

However, after amassing a pathetic 24 points in the first round of fixtures, he has already decided to call it a day.

Speaking on his frustration, he said: “I knew it wasn’t my year when De Bruyne was left on the bench against Arsenal – I’m sure Pep wanted to spite me.

“And people talk about Harry Kane’s August hoodoo, but the guy’s a World Cup Golden Boot winner. He was sure to bag, so I made him skipper – a masterstroke. But he just got booked instead.

“It’s all a load of bollocks at the end of the day – a game of luck for people with too much time on their hands. I didn’t care about winning the stupid work league – honestly.”